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IF WW1 WAS A BAR FIGHT
Germany, Austria and Italy are standing together in the middle of a pub when Serbia bumps into Austria and spills Austria's print.
Austria demands Serbia buy it a whole new suit because of the new beer stains on the trouser leg.
Germany expresses its support for Austria's point of view.
Britain recommends that everyone calm down a bit.
Russia and Serbia look at Austria.
Austria asks Serbia who it's looking at.
Russia suggest that Austria should leave its little brother alone.
Austria inquires as to whose army will assist Russia in doing so.
Germany appeals to Britain that France has been looking at it, and that its sufficiently out of order that Britain not intervene.
Britain replies that France can look at who it wants to, that Britain is looking at Germany too, and what is Germany going to do about it?
Germany tells Russia to stop looking at Austria, or Germany will render Russia incapable of such action anymore.
Britain and France ask Germany whether it's looking at Belgium.
Turkey and Germany go off into a corner and whisper. When they come back, Turkey makes a show of not looking at anyone.
Germany rolls up its sleeves, looks at France, and punches Belgium.
France and Britain punch Germany. Austria punches Russia. Germany punches Britain and France with one hand and Russia with the other.
Russia throws to punch at Germany, but misses and nearly falls over. Japan calls over from the other side of the room that it's on Britain's side, but stays there. Italy surprises everyone by punching Austria.
Austria punches Turkey, and gets punched back. there are no hard feelings because Britain made Austria do it.
France gets thrown trough a plate glass window, but gets back up and carriers on fighting. Russia gets thrown through another one, gets knocked out, suffers brain damage, and wakes up with a complete personality change.
Italy throws a punch at Austria and misses, but Austria falls over anyway. Italy raises both fists in the air and runs the room chanting.
America waits till Germany is about to fall over from sustained punching from Britain and France, then pretends it won the fight all by itself.
By now all the chairs are broken and big mirror over the bar is shattered. Britain, France and America agree that Germany threw the first punch, so the whole thing is Germany's fault. While Germany ist still unconscious, they go through its pockets, steal its wallet, and buy drinks for all their friends.